If these 5 Minnesota anesthetists can pass gas as well as they can sing, I want my next surgery in their hospital.
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
The Smell of Long Pig in the Morning
Turns out I'm live-blogging my outpatient surgery today via my iPhone.
I'm having a minor skin lesion removed today in our university's rather slick dermatology outpatient surgery center. The drill here is:
1. Remove the lesion
2. Take a 45 minute break while a dermatopathologist processes and analyzes the tissue.
3. Repeat until the margins of the lesion are clear.
I'm grateful for this built-in break. I came to my appointment NPO (ate nothing after midnight) and I'm hungry.
To make matters worse, the electrocautery unit they use to stop the minor bleeding creates a smell that is disturbingly similar to barbequed pork.
I used my first break to run to the espresso stand next door for a bite. There I spotted a "bacon, sausage, egg and cheese, French toast bagel sandwich" for sale. No shit. However, like a car wreck you can't turn away from, I just couldn't stop looking at it. OK, OK, I bought the damned thing.
However, the unwillingly tasty scent of sizzling long pig was still fresh in my nostrils. Fresh enough, that when the espresso lady asked: "Can I heat that up for you?", I had to say,
"Uhhhh… No!"
I'm having a minor skin lesion removed today in our university's rather slick dermatology outpatient surgery center. The drill here is:
1. Remove the lesion
2. Take a 45 minute break while a dermatopathologist processes and analyzes the tissue.
3. Repeat until the margins of the lesion are clear.
I'm grateful for this built-in break. I came to my appointment NPO (ate nothing after midnight) and I'm hungry.
To make matters worse, the electrocautery unit they use to stop the minor bleeding creates a smell that is disturbingly similar to barbequed pork.
I used my first break to run to the espresso stand next door for a bite. There I spotted a "bacon, sausage, egg and cheese, French toast bagel sandwich" for sale. No shit. However, like a car wreck you can't turn away from, I just couldn't stop looking at it. OK, OK, I bought the damned thing.
However, the unwillingly tasty scent of sizzling long pig was still fresh in my nostrils. Fresh enough, that when the espresso lady asked: "Can I heat that up for you?", I had to say,
"Uhhhh… No!"
Rap ID Advice for H1N1
If you get H1N1 influenza or any other infectious disease (ID) this year, chances are really, really good that it won't be from a radiologist. If you are auscultated, touched or sneezed upon by a physician, we're not the 'droids you're looking for.
However, there are a lot of other major disease vectors out there to contend with, i.e., your friends and family and co-workers. To protect yourself from them, here are a few helpful hints from Dr. John D. Clarke, medical director of Long Island Railroad:
HT to Medgadget
However, there are a lot of other major disease vectors out there to contend with, i.e., your friends and family and co-workers. To protect yourself from them, here are a few helpful hints from Dr. John D. Clarke, medical director of Long Island Railroad:
HT to Medgadget
Lightning Fast Robot Hand
A friend's reaction to the following video:
No kidding. This thing could play a banjo faster than Bela Fleck, which is really saying something.
With a bit more development, it's not just musicians that this thing might put out of work -- surgeons could lose a few gigs too.
As Dr. Wes has pointed out, this thing could also have amazing benefits for the differently abled.
This robot hand would be an especially good match with the brain-computer interface described on the 8/9/09 episode of 60 minutes (the good stuff starts at the 15:00 mark).
This is great technology -- especially from the point of view of a precocious geezer who may need some of it one of these days.
Hat tip to Anita Anderson
I bet this thing could do wicked good banjo triplets.
No kidding. This thing could play a banjo faster than Bela Fleck, which is really saying something.
With a bit more development, it's not just musicians that this thing might put out of work -- surgeons could lose a few gigs too.
As Dr. Wes has pointed out, this thing could also have amazing benefits for the differently abled.
This robot hand would be an especially good match with the brain-computer interface described on the 8/9/09 episode of 60 minutes (the good stuff starts at the 15:00 mark).
This is great technology -- especially from the point of view of a precocious geezer who may need some of it one of these days.
Hat tip to Anita Anderson
How Science Publishing Works
I've become a big fan of the online comic Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal by Zach Weiner.
I especially enjoyed his treatment today of the Least Publishable Unit.
I especially enjoyed his treatment today of the Least Publishable Unit.
MR Fail
We who work around MR scanners well know that odd sensation when something you forgot to take out of your pocket starts tugging you firmly toward the giant magnet.
Most of us have also idly speculated about the following question...
Hat tip to Better Health.
Most of us have also idly speculated about the following question...
So, what if you actually did push a really big ferromagnetic object (like a whole ICU bed) into the scan room?This picture from Fail Blog pretty well answers that question.
Hat tip to Better Health.
Dead-On Anatomic Art
This smoking shelter is located on the campus of a local community college. I love the artwork...
Sunscreen Advice from a Radiologist
My views on sun protection are a bit more conservative than most -- after all, what do you expect from someone whose favorite sunscreen is a lead-lined room?However, after reading A Guide to Summer Sun Protection in the latest issue of the New Yorker, I just may switch to some of that SPF 233...
Oregon
A bit of history of the Upper North Left from XKCD.
This would explain that odd (really odd) surge in population we saw in Washington and California back in 1852...
Mysterious iProd in the Works...
This just in from Ars Technica:
Of course, my mental image of an "iProd" may be a bit skewed, having grown up in the ranch country of West Texas. Out there, a prod is a sort of cow taser, used by some to herd stubborn animals. We preferred positive incentives -- a shake of a feed bucket is all it took to make our cattle come running. The only cattle prod I've seen in several decades is the one hanging over the waiting line in Rudy's, my favorite Austin barbeque spot.
Of course, I would never actually use an iProd at work. As with cattle, so with radiology residents -- I prefer positive incentives, such as chocolate.
However, one would look swell hanging up in our reading room over the PACS stations. Until I find out the identity of Apple's latest mystery device, I'll keep an eye peeled for something similar on the iTunes Store. As the Apple ads say, "there's an app for everything..."
An updated USBConfiguration.plist in the most recent version of iPhone OS 3.1 beta offers compelling evidence that Apple has continued development on an unknown device, referred to as "iProd," that was first discovered in March.The mind boggles.
Of course, my mental image of an "iProd" may be a bit skewed, having grown up in the ranch country of West Texas. Out there, a prod is a sort of cow taser, used by some to herd stubborn animals. We preferred positive incentives -- a shake of a feed bucket is all it took to make our cattle come running. The only cattle prod I've seen in several decades is the one hanging over the waiting line in Rudy's, my favorite Austin barbeque spot.
Of course, I would never actually use an iProd at work. As with cattle, so with radiology residents -- I prefer positive incentives, such as chocolate.
However, one would look swell hanging up in our reading room over the PACS stations. Until I find out the identity of Apple's latest mystery device, I'll keep an eye peeled for something similar on the iTunes Store. As the Apple ads say, "there's an app for everything..."
The Power of the Pentatonic Scale
An old friend (and discerning reader of this blog) pointed me to the following video, wherein Bobby McFerrin demonstrates the power of the pentatonic scale at the World Science Festival 2009.
As Mr. McFerrin shows, the pentatonic scale is a great scale for improvisation -- it's hard to sing a wrong note. On a guitar, just noodling around on the simple 1-4, 1-3, 1-3, 1-3, 1-4, 1-4 pentatonic pattern is a fine way to spend a happy hour or two. It's impressive how many classic rock and blues licks fall out of this simple scale.
Pentatonicity is also the basis for a number of great old-time fiddle tunes, of which Billy in the Low Ground is an examplar. This version of BITLG shows the Blue Ridge Mountain Boys flinging a tasty torrent of notes about a pentatonic C scale.
I'll have to ask our physicists to program a pentatonic pulse sequence for me to use on our MRI machine. Seems like that ought to be handy for imaging the elusive banjo center of the brain.
(Hat tip to Anita Anderson)
Hand Dryer Fu
After a tasty but messy dinner tonight, I went to the restroom to wash my hands. No paper towels for this restaurant -- they had an Xlerator XL-SB dryer. This creature cranks out a torrent of air and sounds like a jet engine revving up. The manufacturer claims this will dry your hands in 10 - 15 seconds, a lot faster than those girly man hand dryers we've all tried to use for years.
I'm a bit skeptical of this claim, as was the reviewer for the Poop Report. Though this device truly honks , my hands took more like 20 - 25 seconds to dry. In my case, this just meant more time for mischief.
As the air blasted the water off my hands, I noticed that my hand position was similar to the one I used to use for two-hand whistling. With a few conscious positional adjustments, my hands began to howl with loud keening sound. This was fun, so I played with my intonation and tone for a while. Finally, however, I realized that it was giving the willies (so to speak) to a guy at a nearby urinal. So I stopped. For now.
We have five more days in Manhattan. Hopefully I can find another one of these units. If so, The Phantom of the XL-SB will ride again...
I'm a bit skeptical of this claim, as was the reviewer for the Poop Report. Though this device truly honks , my hands took more like 20 - 25 seconds to dry. In my case, this just meant more time for mischief.
As the air blasted the water off my hands, I noticed that my hand position was similar to the one I used to use for two-hand whistling. With a few conscious positional adjustments, my hands began to howl with loud keening sound. This was fun, so I played with my intonation and tone for a while. Finally, however, I realized that it was giving the willies (so to speak) to a guy at a nearby urinal. So I stopped. For now.
We have five more days in Manhattan. Hopefully I can find another one of these units. If so, The Phantom of the XL-SB will ride again...
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